Forgot to post you, you little random poem you.

There once was a shadow that needed a place to stay.
I told him he wasn't welcome, but he stayed anyway.
Making the heart heavy and soul full of guilt,
A place of sadness for blood that was spilt.
Nothing made sense with him around.
No sunshine cascading, no hope to be found.
This sad little shadow though small in size,
Was a daily reminded of an imminent demise.
A broken and damned husk of a being
With no regard for how life really should be.
Shadows aren't welcome in a heart made of gold.
Their presence changes a spirit from young to old.
One day it will leave me, but until then..
I will wait in the wings. Not knowing when.

Venting session: WARNING...there may be grammatical errors.

I am so fucking sick of being unappreciated and talked down to. I feel like no one has any sense of respect anymore. The one thing that I can't stand is being ignored. Ignoring someone is under-appreciating them. They are taking the time to talk to you and tell you how they feel or ask you to do something and you just sit there because what you are doing is so much more important. Today's society has NO regards for humanity. Communication, technology has ripped that away. I feel like I have no personal relationships anymore. A friend of mine reminded me what it was like to actually do something instead of it having to be involved with a screen. I love my technology and am thankful for it because it's fun and convenient, but honestly if I could live back in the times of the Native Americans, I would trade that in a heartbeat. I love the earth. I love relationships and people. I love talking for the sake of talking. I love story telling and sharing of experiences and life. There is one thing I feel as though I am missing in this live that I am living and that is a sense of self strong enough to encompass all that I want to be. I want to be able to be strong enough to achieve the things I want to achieve and do the things I want to do. There is nothing more frustrating that feeling like you can't be yourself because of the people around you. All of this might seem like I am hopping and jumping subjects, but really they are all relative to how I am feeling right now. I don't think anyone reading this would understand or even feels the same way. But if there is someone, please reach out to me. I would love to have someone to talk to about this. End of venting session number one of the day.

All because I slept.

If ever there was a time to start blogging again, it would be now. Everything is fresh in my mind. I can watch it all like a movie on the big screen.

Conscience and subconscience working together to bring the onslaught of a thousand washed up hopes. I wonder, ponder, worry, and despair over it all. As my other thoughts that lie below the surface are shufted into nightmares, dreams of a sort.

How can the mind be so powerful to recall your worries as you sleep? It personifies all of our deepest fears and desires, nearly mocking us into a fainted reality only to be woken by the sun as it rises overhead. Never did I feel more defeated but when these hauntings consume me. Mood and feeling are altered by the mere accusation that all could be lost in a simple instant. It could come back.

I assure you, there would be no parade or welcome as it arrived to settle in. The burning, aching fear still lives within me. Does anyone even know or care to notice? Or do I walk around with a sign on my face and all those who I thought would care simply are used to the sign. Peace is a stranger. I wish it were different.