Tonight's Blurb.

Well, I just got back from seeing Fast 6. I am surprised at how much I really liked it. I have come to really enjoy action movies, especially since dating the emperor of epic, adventure guy movies. I think it all started with my enjoyment for fantasy and sci-fi now it turned into just anything downright epic.  I have come to realize that if I reach outside of my comfort zone and try other things, I might actually surprise myself when I like it. Trying to embrace some of Mark's interests as well as our similar ones has seemed to be successful. I would never be playing League of Legends or Magic. I would never have expanded my palette for food or for movie genres and so on. I am trying to take each experience in my life and look at it under a microscope, if you will. After something happens, I hope to see if I grew from it, or waned from it. There just seems to be a happy medium here that exists because of my openness at trying new things. Since I feel as though it was a positive move, I will deem this a successful experience in how I reacted to something new. I know that Mark values that in a partner. Spontaneity, adventure, willingness to try new things; all something we each seek and we have found. There is not a single thing as of right now in our relationship that I would change. I only hope as time moves through and we enjoy life and heal from my ailments, that we will take this relationship to another level. When that happens, I will be forever grateful to whomever is out there looking over me that fated us back into each other's arms. As I lie my head down at night, I hope to be thankful for what I have taken from today. The reason I like to document things like I do is because tomorrow, or the next day, or the next day -- these memories will all be but a blur. Unless it is written and recorded so that it does itself justice with the raw energy and pureness that exudes from the very thought of it. Memories are way too precious to be lost. Memories and time are all we have. This moment is all that we are given.

An eloquent agreement with oneself.

There are times when words can not describe what you are feeling. All that can escape from you are waves of salty streams flowing down your cheeks, and thats okay. Sometimes you need to cry. There are those moments in life where the last straw has been broken and all we are left with is our vulnerable selves. No one ever said life would be simplistic, but when did it become second nature to accept that we aren't moving forward. The only way to feel and move on is to let it all in. Don't block out your emotions. All it will do is grasp onto your very breath and suffocate you, starting with your heart. The symbolism we all know to be love in our chest cavities. However split at the seams, however lost in the wilderness, we all deserve an epic adventure. Teaching onself to revel in what it is like to be human and experience life as if it was your last moment is one of the most difficult expenditures I have ever bestowed upon myself. An eloquent servitude of humanity and all its wonder. Such a fragile existences however shaken we may be, we remain strong. The monumentous occasion of self actualization doesn't come with instant gratification but with a coy hint of patience. At times it can be frustrating. To know that all our lives we are nothing but an uphill battle until we reach the fulfillment of our true destiny. The rare occasion of forseeing one's fate is only accomplished by few in a lifetime. To have a story to pass on and a livelihood to be cherished is an eventual goal we all can admire.

April 7th: 10:35 PM.

Norfolk, Virginia. Who would have thought it? Naval community where Caucasian is a minority, but yet the minute my feet hit the sand this evening it felt right to be here. My search for inner peace is not something I take lightly. I can't believe that of all the times in my life, now is when I am finally coming to terms with who I am and what I was put on this wondrous earth to do. This vacation is mine and I have been told to do whatever it is that I want to do while I am here to help find peace from within.

The trip down was pretty alright. 8 hours in a vintage old tank with no A/C wasn't too bad considering, I had my bestie. We ate sandwiches, talked and laughed, discovered a theory about my family, and laughed some more. Being carefree is what your 20s are all about. I am almost half way through with my 20s and it has been the most hellish until recently. Having to go through what I have endured renders me shameless and ready to move on with my life and have a hell of a good time.

Something I discovered today as I laid there in the passenger seat with the sun beaming through the windows onto my pale skin. I was born at the wrong time. What about the 20s? Such a wonderful time; 20s Chicago. 50s as a beautiful pin-up model. 60s - now we are talking...hippies, peace, free love, drugs (don't judge - if you were a hot hippy you would enjoy yourself as well). How about the 70s? Eh, no thanks..Zepplin or the Eagles, boo. But you get the point! I think my past life (if that exists) was spent doing something much more meaningful than modern medial activities. I mean in a society where Kim Kardashian is all that people can talk about - yeah, makes me want to blow my brains out.

Right now, I believe that inner peace is something that comes from within but is stimulated by something on the outside. I don't think that one day you can just stare at a wall on Wall Street or look into a mirror at a mall and realize your inner chi and journey in this life. A modern world is a difficult one. I doubt that my inspiration will come from something that is materialistic or modern. At this point, what seems to be inspiring me are the four classic elements; earth, wind, fire, water. I am hoping to be more one with each of these in some way, especially the water this week as I am right on the ocean. I hope to write more about each of these and their influences in my life. As I yearn to discover how they bring me into being me.

A true adventure, a wanderlust full of new places, new photographic opportunities - that is where I need to be as I heal from the wounds I have endured. I am so thankful for Maunie for giving me this experience as I hope to give her inspiration to find her niche in this world too. Continue to inspire one another any way you can by reaching out to those who have endured the worst or simply just lost their way.

My Last Wish.

If ever there comes a time that I am to leave this world, share my adventures.

If I never am able to share my story to the corners of the world, share them for me.

If at the end I seem to lose my mind, find it for me. Help me remember.

If somehow I can not speak for myself, tell him I love him. Remind him.

If upon my last breath I can not muster a simple goodbye, do not cry.

If and when I do, remember the pink in my cheeks and the love in my heart.

If you must cry, cry because our adventure together has ended.

If my adventure ends before yours,

then promise me to continue the escapade and pass on my story.